


Fire in the Flame

by larxenethefirefly



Series: Figure Eight [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Miscarriage, Miscommunication, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:58:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1440904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larxenethefirefly/pseuds/larxenethefirefly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. When John forgets their anniversary, they both end up saying things they don’t mean. Problem is, can he fix it before it’s too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire in the Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Aeonish created a [gif set ](http://aeonish.tumblr.com/post/78793940306/eight-rose-au-when-john-forgets-their-anniversary)and did fantastic work as a beta, so a thousand hugs to her <3  
> Prompted by justkirstenb.

Rose swirled her wine in the glass, smiling slightly as the waiter came by. “You ready to order?” He asked.

“I’ll just pay for the wine, thanks,” she said, then looked over at the empty chair. “I don’t think he’s coming.”

The man gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’ll give you a discount.”

She waited for him to bring by the bill, and was soon outside the restaurant hailing a cab. Rose knew she should have felt annoyed or even upset, but all she could manage was weary.

It had been over a year since John’s father had died, and he had been forced to quit medical school to take over the business. Though he had since completely rearranged the entire hierarchy to make it run more efficiently, he was still pulling long hours and fighting to keep the board’s approval.

But this was the second year in a row that he had forgotten their anniversary.

Rose had been planning their night out for months. He had promised her he’d clear his schedule three months ago, and again two weeks before. Had even shown her the blank spot in his calendar. Apparently something had come up.

The cab dropped her off at her building, and Rose took the lift up to the seventh floor where the suite was. It had been daunting at first, moving into something so expensive and new, but John had insisted. His father had left him a fortune, and with his job as CEO they could afford it easily.

She hung her coat up in the closet and stepped out of her shoes. For a moment she debated changing into something more comfortable but decided against it and moved to the kitchen to heat up leftovers. It was odd, dressed up in one of her nicest cocktail dresses and eating cheap takeaway alone, but she smiled bitterly at how accurately it portrayed her life. Despite the money, despite her education and her residence, she was still a council girl at heart.

Three hours later John stumbled through the door, exhausted from the long day of business meetings and the emergency that had cropped up with the Japanese shareholders. He had then got pulled over and given a ticket while trying to get home, and had caught nearly every red light. All he wanted was to change into his pajamas and go to sleep.

He flicked on the lights, frowning at the empty take-away cartons. It was then that he noticed the television playing old Star Trek re-runs, and on the couch, still in her dress, was one fast asleep Rose Tyler-Smith.

John smiled slightly and turned the television off, wondering why she was in makeup and a dress, her hair falling out of its curls. She mumbled slightly when he picked her up, but otherwise remained asleep as he carefully removed her dress and tucked her under the blankets of their bed. She curled up almost immediately, letting out a soft sigh, and it didn’t take long for him to join her.

When he awoke the next morning it was nearly eleven, and he realized that he had never slept so late in months. Heart racing he scrambled for his phone, and sighed when he realized that no one had missed him- yet.

Still, he took a quick shower and dressed once again in one of his suits, hurrying into the main room. Rose was at the counter sipping at a cup of tea, and she looked up at him with a guarded expression. “Going to work again?”

“Have a meeting with investors and a quarterly production report, as well as a presentation over the new proposed items.” He grabbed a bagel and an apple. “Don’t know when I’ll be back.” He dropped a kiss on her head as he ran out the door.

His personal assistant looked up in surprise when he entered. “Mr. Smith! I thought-”

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, completely ignoring her. “When is the next meeting?”

“In fifteen minutes. But Mr. Smith, I-”

He brushed her off. “Sorry, Molly, I have to run. Don’t know why Rose let me sleep in so late- she knows I have a lot to do.”

Three floors down he found the meeting hall, and his COO looked at him in shock. “Mr Smith! You’re in today!”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He frowned. “Have you started?”

“I… no. Was just about to, though.”

After the production review was over and he had met with the investors, John was heading back up to his office to answer emails. It had been a little odd, seeing the confusion and surprise on everyone’s face when he entered, but he brushed it off.

“I’m surprised to see you in today, Sir,” Molly said as she handed him his lunch. “Considering that you were working yesterday and all.”

John blinked at her. “Whatever do you mean?”

Molly paused. “Surely you didn’t forget?”

“I wouldn’t be asking you otherwise, Molly,” he sighed as he bit into the pizza slice, frowning as his computer slowly booted up.

She clutched her planner tighter. “Your, er, anniversary, Sir. You’ve had that evening cleared for months now.”

He froze mid-chew, suddenly remembering Rose’s dress, and the pearls she only wore on special occasions. She had called him three times that night, and he had ignored it every single time, too concerned with the stock holders in Japan. Molly had even tried to warn him, he remembered. She had told him to let his COO handle it but he had been stubborn and prideful. And worst of all, he had completely forgotten about Rose.

“Cancel everything for the remainder of the day, or let Fitz handle it. I have some serious apologizing to do.”

Molly nodded and smiled, but he was already halfway out the door.

~*~

Rose was shopping when she got her husband’s call.

She looked at the phone and hit ignore, still hurt. Molly had apologized profusely yesterday when Rose had called the office, but the young woman’s words didn’t matter. And this morning John hadn’t even seemed to realize what had happened, even when she had turned off his alarm to give him a subtle hint.

Oh well. She had survived last year with wine, chocolate cake, and a shopping spree. She had been saying for months that they needed new curtains— John probably wouldn’t notice they had changed.

She put the groceries in the back of the car, needing to bake. She already had cookie dough cooling in the fridge, and it was the lack of eggs that had prevented her from making a chocolate cake. The supplies were already laid out, all she needed was to get busy.

John called her twice more on her way home, and she grumbled as she looked for a spot in the parking garage. Twenty minutes later she was entering through the door, Adam Mitchell from floor four helping her with her bags, since he had parked near her seconds after she got out of the car.

“Just place them on the counter, it doesn’t matter,” Rose said as she entered the door. “I’m carrying the cold stuff so I can put those away- John,” she said, surprised, when she saw her husband freezing mid-pace. “I thought you said you had meetings.”

He looked between her and Adam, immediately on guard at her use of his first name. She only used it when she was angry at him or when they were having sex, preferring to use ‘Doctor’ or ‘love’ in everyday conversation. “I… cancelled them. What’s he doing?”

“Helping me with the groceries,” she said, and moved toward the kitchen. Adam looked at him nervously, but continued to follow after Rose. “Thanks,” she said once he set his stuff down, and he nodded tightly before hurrying out the door.

Rose ignored John as she put away the cold items. “You know he’s sweet on you,” John said accusingly as he picked up the nearest bag, finding cans. He began to put them away only for Rose to make a frustrated sound.

“Third shelf from the top for cans, fourth for cereal,” she said, slamming the drawer with more force than necessary. “And I don’t see why that matters. He was only helping out.”

“And I suppose you forgot when he tried snogging you during Christmas,” he muttered, but stopped talking at Rose’s look.

They put away the rest in silence, John carefully double-checking where he was putting the food. When he had gotten back to the flat and saw the baking supplies on the countertop, he knew he had been in trouble- he just hadn’t realized how much. “Rose?” He finally asked when they were done. She looked at him, one hand still clenched around the refrigerator door handle. “I’m… really sorry about yesterday. I really had cleared my schedule, but the Japanese investors called and-”

“Spare me, John,” Rose said wearily. “I know that being CEO is difficult for you, but you could have taken one afternoon off. Fitz was more than capable of handling it.”

“They’re one of my biggest investors, Rose, and they requested me personally,” he replied, irritated at her hinting that he couldn’t handle his job. “I couldn’t blow them off-”

“This is the second year in a row you forgot our anniversary, John!” Rose exclaimed, cutting him off. “First it was over some stupid business in Berlin that I told you would be a waste of time, and now it’s because of money?” She brushed past him as she headed towards the front door.

He followed after her, frustrated. He was trying to apologize; why couldn’t she see that? “You know how hard it’s been since my father died, and I have to keep the board’s trust!”

“My parents are dead too, John!” She said, whirling to face him. “You don’t think I was struggling? That I still struggle? I had to visit their graves alone three months ago because you were in another stupid meeting. You know how hard that day is for me and yet weren’t there. You knew how much I was looking forward to yesterday, and you swore that you would keep your schedule clear. Yet another broken promise.”

He curled his hands into fists, trying to relieve the tension that had wound through him. “I don’t do it on purpose! There isn’t anyone else who can do this job, my father would have wanted me to take over the business!”

“It’s not about honor or pride, John, it’s about me, and how I never even see you anymore!” Rose cried. “I barely have thirty minutes a week with you; even when you were in residency I saw enough of you that I didn’t wonder if you had forgotten me, or that you were spending late nights somewhere else!”

He stared at her in shock. “You think I’m cheating on you!”

“I don’t know what to think! Ever since the miscarriage you’ve been terrified of touching me, and whenever I try to call your office your phone goes straight to voicemail! For all I know you’re shacking up with your head of marketing or just avoiding me altogether!”

John knew he was in the wrong; Rose was upset and fought with him tooth and nail when she disagreed with him, which is one of the reasons he had fallen for her in the first place. Hindered by that guilt and spurred on by frustration and anger that she wouldn’t listen, however, he spoke the first thing that came to mind. “If you honestly think I’m capable of that you clearly don’t know me at all.”

She froze, looking at him with wide eyes, before she sighed. “Maybe we have changed too much,” she said, softly, before grabbing her keys and striding out the door with quick, angry steps.

The slam of the door was the only indication that the world was still intact. John was too terrified to think of what those words might mean to pay attention.

~*~

Rose wasn’t entirely sure where she was heading, only knowing that she had to get out. She and John were both stubborn, and when they got a certain mindset it was hard to get either one to change it. Normally they saw eye-to-eye, which is why they made such a good team, but every so often their viewpoints differed. They sorted it out amicably nine times out of ten after a few hours of arguing, but that leftover time was when things went nuclear. The last time it had happened was when Rose had ended their friendship over his arranged marriage, and it had taken them months to start talking again.

She knew that she was the diplomatic person in the relationship. John was very charismatic, but the finer points of social behavior eluded him and he was frequently rude. She was constantly apologizing for his behaviour to strangers, but he was always there to defend her when someone brought up her background or her accent. Include in the mix that they were both tactile and passionate about what they believed in, and it was no surprise that they were drawn to each other.

Sometimes, though, there were times where the winds turned against them and everything that pulled them together pushed them apart. They knew how to press each other’s buttons, knew the insecurities to prey upon and the past mistakes that haunted them. The months after her miscarriage had been even worse, every small thing sending her into a downward spiral and John struggling to keep them afloat. His late nights and early mornings had started then, burying himself in work to distract himself from grief, while Rose made enough baked goods to support the entire building for a week.

So when Rose found herself at Charley’s current address, she wasn’t really surprised. She needed the support of a friend right now, and when the other woman opened the door Rose simply collapsed in her arms, sobbing.

Charley eventually coaxed out the entire story from Rose, and she suitably distracted her with stories from her travels and a bucket of ice cream. Only when Rose had fallen asleep in the guest bedroom did Charley dial one of the few numbers in her phone.

“Is she alright?” John asked, sounding stressed when he answered.

“You messed this one up big time,” she said. As one of John’s longest friends, she didn’t beat around the bush. “She’s currently sleeping it off in the guest room, and no, you are not allowed to come over. Also, you owe me a bucket of neopolitan ice cream.”

He paused. “Rose doesn’t like neopolitan.”

“She only ate the vanilla, and I’m not eating after her. Point is, you have to do something big to fix this.”

“I don’t know if I can, Charley,” he replied in distress. “I don’t even know what I can do to fix it. Ever since she lost the baby she’s been someone else and I’m terrified of breaking her heart again.”

Charley glanced at the door that Rose was behind. “You’ve already done that, Doctor, by not being there for her. Rose needs someone to talk to, not distance. You should know that by now. She needs her husband.”

He was quiet for a long time. “Can you keep her there until three?”

“Yes. Will you be ready by three?”

“I doubt she’ll come straight home even if I’m not,” he answered, a touch of humor in his voice. “Thank you, Charley.”

“Just make it right,” she warned, and they hung up.

Since she had spent the last few months in Japan, Charley was on a different sleep schedule. Now that she was home, it was about time she pulled a full day so she could sleep at night. She eyed her coffee maker- she was running low on beans, and decided that since Rose was finally asleep, she might as well go shopping.

When she got back it was nearly dawn, since she was running errands and taking advantage of the twenty four hour laundromat when there was no one there.

Rose was awake, already brewing her a cup of coffee and tea for herself. Charley nodded in gratitude. “How are you feeling?” Charley asked, watching Rose carefully.

“Exhausted,” she admitted. “And I have an awful migraine. I hate falling asleep after crying.”

“You had a good reason,” Charley told her. “But you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Rose didn’t reply at first, staring at her cup. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m angry and confused and hurt. I was expecting it the first time, but… three months, Charley. I told him three months in advance, he cleared his schedule, and he still pushed me aside.”

“He probably didn’t mean to, Rose,” Charley said, but Rose kept talking, completely ignoring her.

“And when he went to apologize he had to justify it, like I wasn’t worth an apology. He tried to place the blame somewhere else, even though it was his fault, after trying to pick a fight over bloody Adam!” She was gripping her mug tightly, her knuckles were turning white. “And then he dared to say I don’t know him!”

Charley let her rant, having heard this five times by now in various forms. This time, however, she wasn’t going to commiserate. “Rose, you two are some of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met, and it takes a lot to get John angry. I know he missed your anniversary, but this fight was partially your fault, too.”

“I wanted to yell at him,” Rose said quietly. “I wanted to scream and throw things, and hurt him as much as he hurt me. I accused him of cheating and yeah, I accepted Adam’s help because I knew he wouldn’t have approved, even though I didn’t expect the Doctor to be home. I just thought I’d mention it at dinner or something. Well,” her face twisted into a pained smile, “assuming he got back in time for dinner. I didn’t…” she trailed off, and when she spoke again, her voice was in a whisper. “What if… what if he thinks his dad was correct, and this is just the beginning of the end?”

“Rose, if John tries to separate or divorce you, I’ll be first in line to give him a slap,” Charley said. “Not that I think he will. Listen, you can stay here for a while, sort out your thoughts, but you need to be gone by three o’clock.”

Rose blinked. “Why three?”

“Because I have someone coming over and they don’t need you to be the moping ghost in the background,” Charley teased.

She smiled slightly. “Yeah, alright. I need to change my clothes anyway. God, I hope the Doctor isn’t there,” she sighed.

Charley didn’t respond, and Rose finished her breakfast with another cup of tea and a bagel before retreating to the guest room and watching watching whatever was on the television, wondering how she could fix the mess she was in.

When three o’clock rolled around she was no closer to the result, and she reluctantly left. Charley gave her an encouraging smile, but Rose didn’t return it. She was terrified that her entire world was about to come crashing down around her.

After driving around for another hour she finally admitted that she was only prolonging the inevitable, and the longer she stayed away from the flat the greater the chances she would run into John when she did return home. Thirty minutes later she was staring at her door, before finally entering the flat.

The room was dark, and she closed her eyes briefly, not sure if she was relieved that John wasn’t back or disappointed. She brushed the conflicting feelings aside and walked further into the room, fumbling for the light switch and turning it on.

Rose stopped mid-step when the lights revealed rose petals leading to the balcony, and she warily followed them. John was standing by a small table, several covered dishes sitting on a nearby trolley. “I believe I owe you dinner,” he said with a nervous smile.

“Did you cook?” She asked.

“Some of it,” he admitted. “I didn’t have enough time.”

She stared at him a little more. “I’m hardly dressed up, and you’re in a suit.”

“You still look beautiful,” he said sincerely, and she finally sat down in the chair he had pulled out for her.

He only had time for three courses, and Rose admitted, privately, that he outdid himself. The radio hidden in the corner played soft music, the fairy lights in the plants and wrapped around the banister providing a soft glow. He had made her favorite dishes, even hunting down the beans for the soup.

The conversation was the only part lacking, which didn’t surprise Rose. They talked briefly about how they had spent their day and what Charley was up to, and Rose quietly talked about how the art gallery she had started curating a few months before was going. She was due back there in a few days to finish cataloging the most recent acquisitions before they went on display, and to check on the status of the artists who were using the above-floor studios.

When dinner was done they cleaned up without speaking, Rose drying as John washed. They stood awkwardly in the kitchen when they were done. “I really am sorry, Rose,” he finally said. “It was my fault. I knew about the dinner, about our anniversary, but my pride got in the way.”

“You know I don’t really like Adam, he’s a pain in the arse and surviving off of his daddy’s money,” she said. “And he’s far too stuck on himself. But… this was the second year, John. I was trying so hard to make it special.”

He pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Rose. But I made Molly clear the next three days. I’m all yours.”

Rose leaned up to kiss him, and involuntarily he shifted so that she would kiss his cheek instead. It was a move that had nearly become habit; ever since she had been hospitalized from the miscarriage and he had nearly lost her, he had been afraid to do more than the occasional kiss, her pale form in the hospital bed flashing before his eyes.

She pulled away, heart plummeting. “Right. I’ll just… I should shower. And change.” She broke free from his grasp.

John blinked and turned to stare after her. “Rose?”

“It’s ok if you don’t want me, but I haven’t showered in a day and I need to get out of these clothes,” she replied, and he could hear the hurt in her voice despite her attempt to hide it. She hadn’t even stopped or faced him, simply continued walking towards their room.

He suddenly remembered Charley’s words, and the fear he had felt when Rose had left lanced through him once more. He was losing her, had been losing her from the moment he turned away when she needed him most. The loss of their baby had been hard and they hadn’t talked about it, not really; he hadn’t allowed them to. He had thrown himself into his work and left Rose to suffer as he tried to fill that hole in his heart, being so incredibly selfish. He had thought she was better. Only now did he see how fragile she still was.

Ever since they met, he knew Rose had always deserved better than him. That was why he had agreed to the arranged marriage for so long, why he had led her in circles and danced around the issues before they finally caved that night at her flat. When they had gotten married he had promised her that he would always put her first. He smiled bitterly. Look how long that had lasted.

And so, finally, he gave in and let go of his fear, his selfishness, and with quick strides he caught up to her and grabbed her hand, turning her so she would face him before pulling her in for a kiss, backing her against the wall as he clung to her desperately.

Rose gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, coaxing her into kissing him back, which she did after letting out a small groan and wrapping her arms around his neck. He could tell from her kiss and her touch that she was holding back, guarding herself for the inevitable moment when he would pull back and act like nothing had happened. But he wouldn’t. Never again, he promised himself. Never again would he run away from her.

“I always want you, Rose,” he said roughly when he finally broke from the kiss, and trailed kisses along her jawbone before he got to her ear. “I’ve just been an idiot and blinded by my own selfish reasons. I can’t explain how sorry I am about everything. Please, forgive me.”

For a heart-stopping second Rose didn’t reply, but she finally sighed and nestled against him. “I love you,” she whispered, and pressed her lips to his.

He groaned, or she whimpered, John wasn’t sure. All that he knew was that her hands were in his hair and one hand was under her top, unhooking her bra strap. The bedroom was five feet away but it might as well have been five miles; his feet refused to move.

“I missed you,” she murmured as she worked on the buttons of his suit jacket. “I needed you with me and you weren’t there and I’ve missed you so much.”

He closed his eyes and smoothed his hand over her stomach. “I’ve missed you too. Why do we never talk?”

“Because we’re stubborn and too like-minded,” she replied. “But for now shut up and kiss me.”

John obliged and soon had her shirt off, Rose immediately shrugging out of her bra. His hands abandoned the zip of her jeans and immediately went to her chest, and Rose arched against him.

He inhaled sharply when her own hand traced him through the outline of his trousers, and pulled his head back. “Rose,” he said, warningly, but she simply smirked and stroked him again.

In a few seconds he was pushing at her jeans and knickers, before realizing she still had shoes on. Rose pushed him away and ducked down to untie her trainers as he worked at his belt.

When Rose stood up again he had successfully bested the button and had shoved his trousers down. He pulled her in for another kiss before placing his hands beneath her arse and picking her up.

Rose squeaked but didn’t protest, merely diverting her mouth to his neck so she could lick and suck at the spot that made him shiver. He adjusted his grip and blindly rooted for her clit until he found it, causing Rose to stop in her attentions and grip his back tightly, her nails digging into his skin.

“Doctor,” she gasped, then, as he moved his fingers in a particularly brilliant way, she shouted out “John!” which let him know he was on the right track. He redoubled his efforts and slid one finger inside of her, wincing slightly at how dry she still was.

“I love you,” he whispered, catching her eyes as he pressed her further into the wall. Her legs tightened around his hips. “I don’t know what I can do to make up for hurting you, but I will try, Rose. Every day. I will try to make myself worthy of your affections, your love, so that you will never, ever doubt my feelings again.”

She pressed her face to the crook of his neck. “Don’t leave me, John. Swear you’ll never leave me.”

“I swear, Rose.” He said, nuzzling the side of her head until she turned. “I swear with all my heart.”

They kissed, and his hands got busy. He used every trick to make her aroused, teased every spot to make her shiver and shake against him. All the while he ignored the ache in his legs and arm, needing to put her first.

Only when he knew she was ready did he adjust himself and slowly, oh so slowly, did she sink down on him. They both gasped, clinging to each other, months of celibacy and frustrated hand-jobs a pale memory compared to finally being together.

He angled himself so that he brushed against her clit with every movement, and Rose pressed her head back against the wall as she dug her nails into his back, breathlessly urging him on, her legs clenching around him as she shook. John squeezed his eyes shut as he thrust into herd, holding back with every ounce of control he had until Rose finally shattered around him, gasping out his name and clinging to him tightly. He finally surrendered, shuddering, pressing her more firmly into the wall as he rode out their orgasms frantically.

Spent, he let Rose slide slowly down his body, using his discarded pants to clean them up before they stumbled into their bedroom. The sheets hadn’t been made so they simply pulled them up when they were settled, Rose tucked up against him and their arms around each other.

“First time we’ve had wall sex,” Rose mumbled sleepily. “And I thought you weren’t very adventurous in bed.”

“I can when I want to be.” He replied, stroking her back. “And today called for it, I think.”

She smiled. “One day I’ll get you to participate in phone sex, you know.”

“Mmm, but that won’t be any time soon. I’m all yours, Rose Tyler,” he said, and kissed her softly.

He knew they needed to talk and that in order to heal they had to re-open old wounds to let the infection out. But for now she was in his arms, and that’s the only place he wanted to be.


End file.
